For those of you who have met me, for those of you who don’t know me, my pictures may suggest what I like and look like, but do not represent my unheard voice.
In light of recent events of the BLM Movement, but also by having an open in depth conversation with my sister and dear best friend Tearoha about some of the challenges and insecurities us women with certain features face today. I often do not voice my opinions unless I feel it deeply concerns me, but also because I am an introverted individual and somewhat of a private person. This is my time to voice and express myself.
- Let us start this off with a questionable thought: Why do we need to use the term ‘red-bottom’?
I am a spankee. I am a woman. I am BLACK.
Being a black spankee within a predominantly white spanko/fet community has its challenges and you may not be aware. But I am aware. Infact, I am very aware, conscious, highly vigilant, and unapologetically observant.
We are not going to get into the specifics of why there are not many black spankees in the community, or ‘where are they are all hiding’. No, we are not. I am here to inform of the many struggles I (and perhaps others) may face being a black spankee in the community.
Throughout my spanking journey and over the last year especially, it has occurred to me that there is this ‘idealistic’ description and image of that is seen as a ‘traditional spankee’. By this I mean referring to the good old-fashioned days where domestic discipline and school corporal punishment were the norm. We know of ancient books, old comics and some aged videos that are predominately with spankees who are white, often who are women, over a man’s knee getting some form of correction for misdemeanours beyond that requires just a simple telling off.
Within these images you would always see a small, perhaps thinly shaped young white woman, long hair, small waist, who has a cute red bottom. This is where my problems begin.
- Why do we need to use the term ‘red-bottom’? This automatically discriminates against spankees who cannot produce a red bottom after being soundly spanked
In a world and country where we are more diverse than ever, many people still have their idealistic vision of what the ‘perfect’ spankee looks like. That is white, thin, small, young and in some cases the gender of a woman.
I am conscious that I do not fit this image and mostly that because I am a black young woman. I get messages occasionally by men who would like to ‘redden’ my bottom or make my bottom go ‘bright pink’. I get these A LOT. A typical bottom that goes red after a spanking is those mostly of a white race. I understand that one of the thrills and likes of a spanker is seeing the ‘glow of a well spanked bottom’. But what does this glow mean? Red? Pink? Purple?
Automatically this singles me out. My bottom does not glow, redden nor does it go pink after a spanking. You will be lucky to see a darkish maroon-purplish colour, but mostly when I’m bruised. Most of the time my skin colour goes darker usually with a hand spanking. When I am strapped, tawsed, belted or caned quite hard, my bottom shows white marks. I have been asked several times about this by some uneducated unaware people or simply by people who have not had the fortunate experience of connecting with a black spankee or indeed, being able to spank them.
My non-red bottom does not always appeal to some spankers out there. It disturbingly seems like I am ‘not a fit’ to some events out there, some groups out there and some individuals out there. The sad reality is that they have not yet to connect with me personally to find out who I truly am, rather they look at my images and see that my bottom doesn’t give them the same experiences of a white girl. When truly the ideal spanking session is based on the connections you make, the personalities you explore and the non-discrimination on silly generalisations that all spankees can have a reddened bottom. No, not all. And certainly not mine.
- Again, I ask: Why do we need to use the term ‘red-bottom’? This automatically discriminates against spankees who can not produce a red bottom after being soundly spanked. But why not use the term ‘hot bottom’ or ‘sore-bottom’? That sounds very inclusive to me, don’t you think?
Usually at events, small gatherings where spanking is involved, I am ‘different’. People may not approach me at an event or as an individual because by bottom does not redden like what they ‘know’ or are ‘used to’. I sometimes feel some people are intrigued by my bottom because they have never seen a black bottom being spanked before. But it is the same as spanking any other bottom, with the only exception that my skin tone goes darker or turns white.
For those in the community who have met me, would describe me as fun, cheeky, naughty and playful. But those who have had conversations with me would know that I go beyond this perception and have more to me than what is shown through my images, or even my profile.
Despite being a black spankee, I do feel I have made good friends in the community, who indeed understand that a spanking is a spanking no matter the colour of your skin and there are people who do see me as just and only a fellow spankee. I also am grateful for those who look out for me, as there sadly has been some racially inappropriate comments to my pictures. And I am appreciative and grateful for all the positive compliments I have received on my bottom.
This is not an attack, this is to simply open up and inform you that yes, I am a black woman, and yes although I may not fit what some people may see as the ‘perfect spankee’, I am still a person, a woman, a spankee and a member of your community. See me for what I am, for my personality, for my charm, for my cheekiness, for my intelligence and allow me to express my feelings.
Never look at me and see me as a person of colour, but instead embrace my difference. Don’t be scared, don’t be shy and don’t hide away, because difference IS exciting, difference IS educational, and difference CERTAINLY IS worth exploring.
Let’s not assume all bottoms can be made to go red, it is Taking The PIS away from reality.
Let’s not assume all bottoms can be made to go red, it does not represent diversity, inclusiveness and certainly is not a true picture of reality
4 thoughts on “Challenges of being a Black Spankee – The ‘reddened’ bottom”
This has really made me think more about my assumptions and others feelings…. It also makes me want to spank your bottom 🙂
Totally agree with you.If you are in UK feel free to contact me anytime for a chat or wherever that leads.Sir.RC@mail .com
It’s great that you’ve shared this, and thank you for your courage in doing so. Accepting and celebrating difference should be part of what brings people together, valuing who we are.
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I met the first true love of my life 5 minutes into my Freshman orientation at college. 10 minutes later I knew I was in love with her, but was determined to play it cool – and to see if Incould get to know her as a friend first, in no small part because she was obviously so very far out of my league.
S was simply *extraordinary* and everyone but everyone knew it – yet no one that I was ever aware of envied her, because she was just so kind, lovable, wise and gut-bustingly *hilarious*, often when you least expected it.
She was also stunningly beautiful and had just pure grace in her movements without the least little bit of self-consciousness or affectation. She was a dancer, she joined the improv comedy team in her first semester after killing it at the try-outs, she was a Film major just like me, a gifted writer and, sometimes just out of nowhere, the biggest, dorkiest goofball you ever did see.
Because she was (obviously!) so far out of my league, when we’d become proper friends and even sometimes platonic cuddling buddies after class when we were all hanging out in a friends room, I literally got down on one knee and asked if she would consider being my girlfriend (look, I grew up as a scholarship kid at some very classical English schools, so the ideal of being a *genuine* gentleman had a very special place in my heart). I also asked her – because I was fine being shot down, but would have felt like an idiot if I’d ever asked, and wanted to make a “yes” from her actually meant “YES!” – to not give me an answer until two weeks later (in November 26th, 1995 – ya damn skippy I remember the precise date! 😉).
And so, two weeks later, when the time came for me to get her final answer, I cleaned up as *real* nice as I could, clean shaven, pressed button-down shirt (which – me in college any other day of the four years I was there… this was not 😄).
I knew darn well that I was going to be – in the kindest possible way and with true good humor – let down gently. I was totally ready for that bittersweet disappointment. Not in any self-pitying way, but I’d had a lot of disappointments in my life (crippling suicidal depression also in my mid-teens) – I knew this was one let-down I could hold my head up high about.
But I *did* want to look good-as-Hell when I was let down, not to “show her what she was missing”, but just out of respect for myself.
And then… Well, she *didn’t* turn me down. At all. In fact she not only said “YES!”, she said (and I was so proud of my girl, because I’d been coaching her in British slang) “Let’s snog!”
So we did, at 9 at night, on a bench right by the deserted football field. And we also did so much more, in a really sweetly and lightly kinky way. She wasn’t a spanko, but she was a sensualist and was more than happy for me to hand-spank her because she knew it truly was *my* language of love.
And yet… I truly never was able to redden her beautifully sculpted bottom. Not once.
And why? Because she had one of those cast-iron behinds that barely marks? Because I was somehow afraid of hurting her and never spanked her truly hard enough.
It was because S was a staturesquely gorgeous and curvacious Haitian-American young lady.
Did I (having been raised on images in British spanking magazines of red-bottomed little school girls standing nervously in the corner for the *next* implement to be applied to her posterior) *regret* not being able to redden her lovely derrière?
Are you f**king kidding?!
Spanking S was like spanking a sweetly-tempered, wickedly minded goddam *goddess*. Seriously, were you even listening to one goddam word I said up above? 😉🤣
And where is S now? Oh, y’know, just a Professor Of Film Studies at one of the Top 3 Ivy League schools. Because she is – just as she always *was* – an absolutely f**king rockstar *genius*.